Saturday, November 5, 2016

Caveman Vs the Fire Apes! A Classic/OSR Funnel Thingee...

I love the idea of a funnel: low level characters run en masse, sent into a bloodbath to see who survives. They are great for one-shots when not all players can make it, you need a break as DM, or you just want to murder large amounts of characters for fun and amusement.
I've run a few and this one is the latest.

To start we'll need some cavemen.....

Each player has four Cavemen
HD: 2d8 hit points each.
Base to hit: + 2/as Fighter plus the usual stat bonuses.
Save: 13/as Fighter

Rolling Ability scores:
Strength: 5d6 (take best three)
Dexterity: 4d6 (take best three)
Constitution: 5d6 (take best three)
Intelligence: 4d6 (take worst three)
Wisdom: 4d6 (take worst three)
Charisma: 3d6

Special Abilities:
+1 Ac due to gristle and inherit toughness.
+4 to Str checks for climbing if a roll is deemed necessary.

Made of stone, wood, and bone and vulnerable to breakage. When each weapon rolls maximum on it's damage dice it has a 1-2 on a 1d6 of being damaged. If it is damaged the damage dice drops by one dice. When it goes below 1d4 damage dice it is useless as a weapon.

Axe 1d6
Club 1d4
Dagger 1d4
Two-handed Club 1d6
Rock 1d4
Two-handed Rock 1d6
Spear 1d6

Leather and hide: +2 to Ac
Leather and hide shield: +1 to Ac. Only allowed if a player thinks to ask about them. Don't offer it up.

The tribal shaman has whipped up a batch of healing paste. Each Caveman gets one dose. When taken it heals 1d4 Hp.

Allow them to have grass rope, fire-bow and kit for making fires, water skins, etc.

(Yes it's a fumble chart....)
Caveman combat is violent and dirty with very little style compared to more modern warriors. The push, shove, jump, bash, and roll around a lot. They also tend to fight in dirty, natural places filled with rocks, loose dirt, downed trees, tangling bushes, etc.

During combat when a character or creature rolls a natural one on the d20 roll, roll a 1d6 and consult the following chart.
1. Trip and fall: stunned (-2 hit.-2 AC) one round.
2. Twist ankle. Half movement for 1d4 days.
3. Step on sharp object: 1 point damage, half movement for 1d3 rounds.
4. Wrench shoulder: arm useless for 1d4 days.
5. Hit self: damage yourself.
6. Crack head: stunned (-2 hit.-2 AC) for 1d6 rounds.

The women of the PC's tribe have been kidnapped!
Apemen of the fire-lands have raided and killed many while the Pc's were off hunting. They are tasked by the tribal shaman to retrieve them.

Actual encounters, stats, and maps next time!


  1. This is outstanding! I've had a paleolithic OSR game swirling around in my head for a while now. Great inspiration here!